9 Ways to Feel Better Now

First, ask yourself, “Do I really want to feel better? Am I ready for the temporary discomfort of change, even for the better?” Sometimes, we’re so accustomed to the mediocrity, pain and heartbreak that, while we say we want to be happy, we resist doing the very things we already know have worked in the past to get us to good. I’ve suffered from both depression and anxiety and understand how easy it is to get seduced by the hypnotic comfort of our pain and its accompanying self-soothing mechanisms. More and more, however, we are beginning to realize the value in joyful, authentic living and embrace the concept of unapologetic elation. There’s no award for being the saddest victim and no trophy for struggling the hardest. Decide today that you deserve to be simply happy at any cost and consistently take these easy steps to feel better now. You will likely find that, after the fear of uncertainty (How many of us are truly familiar and comfortable with unbridled joy?), the price is one you’re willing to pay:

1. Eat Something HAPPY — We all know certain foods make us feel lighter while some weigh us down. Oddly, it’s the “comfort foods” that leave us very momentarily comforted but ultimately, still feeling down. Instead, reach for an apple or handful of grapes. Not only will you feel proud of yourself for consuming something purported to “keep the doctor away,” but you’ll feel better physically as well.
2. Reclaim Your Sexy — Sex, red lipstick, that one dress that falls just so… They all have in common the ability to boost your confidence level. Sensuality empowers us and it should not be reserved just for those in relationships. Whatever your beliefs about the act of sex itself, you’ll feel instantly better the moment you reclaim your sexy. Every woman, single or not, would benefit from a long, relaxing bubble bath, a teak & mahogany candle burning at bedtime, a “Tank” Pandora playlist on the way to the office.
3. Smart Indulgences — Admit it. We all have our things, our coping mechanisms. And barring any addictions and dependencies, it’s healthy to treat yourself in moderation. Avoid the guilt by choosing smart indulgences. Choose the antioxidant-filled wine over the sugary liquor, the uplifting sativa over the grounding indica, the bioactive dark chocolate over the fattening milk variety. An added bonus is that we tend to need less of the healthier choice to feel satisfied.
4. Vent (For 15 Seconds or Less) — Spiritual Guide Esther/Abraham Hicks speaks frequently on the power of maintaining a thought for 17 seconds or longer. This is the amount of time it takes for momentum to build upon a thought in order for it to become physically manifested, positive or negative, wanted or unwanted. So call up your best chica and go to town! Vent, cuss, cry and get it all out. Just be sure to keep it under 17 seconds… let’s say 15 to be safe.
5. Call Your Granny — Or someone else you haven’t spoken to in ages if Nana’s in the afterlife. Our elders, in particular, though, tend to have a knack for putting our problems back in perspective. They’ve done some things and learned some lessons. They’ll remind you of the most important parts of life and encourage you to put more of your focus there.
6. Werk It Out — You don’t have to haul the kids to daycare or repair the rusty bike in the basement… not right this second, at least. You can drop and gimme 10, cop a few squats and knock out a couple handfuls of sit-ups in your living room while you catch up on The Walking Dead. You know, Netflix and drill. Just get that heart rate elevated, those endorphins flowing and you’ll feel that yummy flush of accomplishment in no time.
7. Word Search — If you are “always in your head,” unsuccessfully multi-tasking or constantly forgetting things, try free-journaling. Keep a notebook in your bag or car. When it’s time for your emotional check-in (I set alarms for 8 AM, 3 PM & 8 PM to check in with myself, my attitude and my feelings and adjust accordingly) and you find yourself feeling less than wonderful, start putting those feelings into words. Start with the one that feels closest to where you are and keep going with related words until you get to one that is positive or even neutral. When you find a neutral/ positive word, start writing synonyms for that word and imagine yourself feeling each new word until you feel better. Believe it or not, “sleepy” can get to “rested” and “overwhelmed” can get to superhero with some effort.
8. Listen Up — Instead of listening to music and things that reiterate or confirm how you’re already feeling, listen to something that describes how you’d like to feel. When we’re heartbroken, it’s so tempting to turn on the ballads and run through a few boxes of tissue and a carton of ice cream. Instead, if you really want to feel better, allow yourself ONE sad song and then click on Pitbull instead of Ed Sheeran or Beyonce’ instead of Toni Braxton.
9. Compare & Contrast — Don’t go from bad to worst by feeling guilty if you have a hard time coming up with something to be grateful for. This is the only time it’s relatively safe to compare yourself to others but in case of emergency go ahead and give into a wee bit of, “It could always be worse.” Or consider that sista who seems to have it all together has a rich boyfriend and no kids. You ain’t doing so bad, Love. And you’re working toward better.

Just remember, we are how we feel. Any feeling we maintain consistently literally becomes who we are through persistent thought and eventually subconscious self-fulfilling action. We all know that one person who’s so happy it’s downright annoying when you’re busy drafting the invites for your latest pity party, trying to garner sympathy and feel sorry for yourself. And that perpetually despondent one you either practice your coaching skills on or avoid like the zika virus. Decide you’re worthy and then choose how you want to be seen. Practice daily and voila! You’re feeling, (doing and being) better.